


Secrets

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Past Miscarriage, future!Klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Have you been pregnant before?” Dr. Hinman looked up with a smile and Blaine felt like his heart had stopped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Could you write a fic where Blaine learned that he was pregnant shortly after Finn died and didn’t want to say anything to Kurt who is grieving the loss of his brother, but then he miscarried shortly after the events in “The Quarterback” and has mixed feelings about it? And he debates whether or not he should tell Kurt that he was pregnant and had a miscarriage - or maybe it comes up after Blaine is pregnant again, but this time it happens after he and Kurt are married.

“Have you been pregnant before?” Dr. Hinman looked up with a smile and Blaine felt like his heart had stopped. 

It had taken them  _forever_  to find a good OBGYN and they both loved Dr. Hinman. She was sweet and welcoming. Plus, she specialized in male pregnancies and Kurt had been thrilled at how close her office was.

But…he had hoped that he would get to fill out a form in private instead of doing this with Kurt in her office.

“No, this is our first!” Kurt was beaming, he looked  _so_  happy. He reached over and squeezed Blaine’s hand, practically bouncing in his seat. 

Blaine felt his chest get tight and he bit his lip. His eyes burned slightly with the threat of tears as he stared at his husband.

This was going to break his heart.

“I…yes, once before,” he whispered, Kurt’s hand going slack in his. “About six years ago.”

“What?” He locked his eyes on his lap, terrified to look up and see Kurt’s horrified expression. 

“I had a miscarriage,” Blaine finished, swallowing back tears. 

“Do you two need a minute to talk?” Dr. Hinman asked and left the room with a polite nod, shutting the door behind her. 

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed, trembling as Kurt pulled his hand away. “Kurt…I was going to tell you.”

“Six years ago,” Kurt sounded far away. “You were eighteen? Your senior year.”

“I’m sorry,” he jumped as Kurt stood up and moved to the side a little. 

“Why haven’t you told me about this? It took six years before I knew that we had a child?” Kurt’s voice raised and tears began to run down his cheeks. 

“I found out I was pregnant two days after Finn had died,” Blaine choked out. “I was going to wait to tell you…I didn’t want you to feel…then I had a miscarriage a few weeks later. You had just lost your brother Kurt. What was I supposed to say?”

“I would have liked to know!” Blaine spun around in his chair to see Kurt pacing slightly. 

“I couldn’t tell you that you had lost something else. I couldn’t tell your family,” his voice cracked. 

“Who knew?” Kurt wrapped his arms around his stomach. 

“No one.”

“Wait?” Kurt’s eyes widened. “You just…kept it to yourself?”

“Finn had just died Kurt! I couldn’t just tell everyone that I had just lost our child,” he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth as his body shook. 

“You lost him too,” Kurt said softly, taking a seat next to him. “Just the week before, he told me how excited he was that you were going to be his brother-in-law. I was devastated that I lost my brother but you were alone when the baby died. I was in New York and you were alone.”

Blaine bowed his head and sobbed, finally letting himself grieve for their child. After he had woken up, heartsick and bleeding, he had pushed it away. That part of his life was over and there was no reason to dwell.

But, it had been a child. He had lay in bed and imagined what the baby would look like. He had thought up names and planned how he was going to tell Kurt. Maybe they would even name him Finn.

“I never even felt it kick,” Blaine whispered. 

Kurt sat down in front of him and pulled him in to hold him tight. He rubbed his back as they rocked back and forth. 

“I’m so scared it’ll happen again,” Blaine finally choked out, gripping Kurt tighter.

“It won’t. This baby is going to be okay,” Kurt kissed his temple. “And you won’t be alone this time.”

He gently placed his hand on Blaine’s stomach and gave him a teary smile. 


	2. Beginning to Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: As soon as I finished reading Secrets I knew there had to be more to this story lol and all of your Mpreg!Blaine stories. Can you do a followup fic where its further along in his pregnancy and since hes never experienced it before he starts to have Braxton Hicks Contractions one afternoon when Kurt is at work and fears he’s having another miscarriage and he calls Kurt at work in a panic.
> 
> Prompt: Could you do a follow up to Secrets where Blaine gives birth and is relieved when he holds his baby that he never miscarried? I LOVED Secrets, by the way :)

He liked this lazy days. 

Fridays were his day off and he had the entire apartment to himself. He kissed his husband goodbye in the morning, had a leisurely breakfast, lazed around for a bit and then did his errands. Today he was supposed to research cribs and go to the store to pick out paints. Instead, he was in his pajamas watching television. 

Being pregnant was the most amazing thing in the world. It was like he had a special connection with their child and treasured every moment. Blaine could spend hours rubbing his hand over his stomach and whispering to the baby. 

He and Kurt could spend tomorrow putting together the crib. Today was a day for being lazy and catching up on his DVR’d episodes of Chopped. His fingers traced his stomach as he sleepily watched the episode, smiling slightly at the kicks. 

Then a strange tightening around his abdomen made him curl up slightly, letting out a small gasp. It passed quickly and he lay back down on the couch. 

Another pain shot through his stomach strong enough for him to cry out and horror quickly flooded through him. Memories of sobbing on his bathroom floor, clutching his stomach, rushed back to him and he bit his lip hard. 

Tears streamed down his cheeks and he shakily reached for his phone. 

“I’m having contractions. I’m losing the baby,” he sobbed into the phone before Kurt could say anything. “Oh my God Kurt I’m losing the baby.”

“You’re all right Blaine,” he could hear the fear in his voice. “I’m on my way home.”

Blaine held his stomach tight as he sobbed the entire way to the hospital. Kurt tried desperately to soothe him and beg the taxi driver to go faster. The pain in his abdomen was nothing compared to the heartbreak at the thought of losing another child. 

“I’m four months along,” he choked out as he was lowered into a wheelchair, Kurt’s strong hand on his shoulder. “I’ve miscarried before.”

“You’re going to be just fine Blaine,” a doctor attached a blood pressure cuff around his arm and helped him onto a bed in the ER. “We need to take your blood pressure and make sure that’s not the problem.”

“Am I losing the baby?” He whispered as the doctor made a few notes. 

“Your blood pressure is a little high but that might just be because of this panic attack your having,” the doctor smiled kindly. “Do you feel the baby kicking?” 

“I don’t know,” Blaine wiped at his tears before pressing his hands against his stomach. “It feels like the last time I miscarried.”

He held Kurt’s hand as tight as he could as the doctor laid him back and lifted his shirt. The ultrasound was rolled in and the wand was pressed against his stomach. Blaine held his breath and stared intently at the grainy image.

Then the doctor turned on a switch and a rhythmic heartbeat echoed through the small room. “There’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

“So the baby is alright?” Kurt asked as Blaine slumped down, eyes locked on the flicker on the screen. 

“You experienced Braxton-Hicks contractions,” the doctor handed him a tissue for the gel on his stomach. “They’re completely normal and completely harmless. You are fine and your baby is fine.”

Blaine pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and let out a shaky breath. The ache in his stomach reminded him of the pain he had felt when he miscarried and made his heart squeeze uncomfortably. 

He let out a small sob as Kurt pressed a kiss to the top of his head and rested his forehead on his shoulder. Blaine reached up to cup the back of his neck and tried to match his breathing to his husband’s. The baby kicked and he pressed his hand to his stomach.  

Five more months, he thought to the baby, please just wait five more months. 

—

Five months after the incident Blaine was able to hold the baby tightly in his arms.

If things had gone right, he would have introduced the new baby to their big brother or sister. If things had gone right, they would have been a family a long time ago.

He stared down at their baby, gently running his fingers through the downy hair. Little Emma snuffled a little in her sleep and he smiled.

Emma meant universal or whole, like what she meant to her fathers.

She was their universe. She made them whole. Blaine had struggled with the pain of losing a child and it had left something torn in him. Emma was the reason he was beginning to heal.


End file.
